Say It Ain’t So
Yeah, all it took was one stinkin' iPhone photo to tank the season for the Ipswich boys’ lacrosse team. They were headed to the state semifinals with a legitimate shot at a championship. Instead, they were forced to forfeit the game after six seniors were suspended.
You know why? After graduation, the seniors went to the beach and posed for a picture with Tony Soprano-sized cigars. Smoking a cigar after graduation is a time-honored tradition, but the Massachusetts Interscholastic Athletic Association blew the whistle, suspended all six seniors, and just like that, it was game over. Their hopes of a state championship went up in smoke. Christ, it's not like they walked across the graduation stage with cigars hanging out of their mouths.
Haven't they ever heard of the victory cigar? Celtics coach Red Auerbach used to light one up whenever the Celtics had a game wrapped up. When the New York Knicks won the NBA championship, the team came back onto the court afterward and celebrated by smoking cigars.
Speaking of the Knicks, here's another ridiculous ruling. The Knicks won the title on a Saturday, and the mayor scheduled a ticker-tape parade for the following Thursday—the exact same day thousands of high school students were taking four Regents exams. Think about it. It'd been 53 years since the Knicks last won a championship. New York was going nuts. Despite petitions from parents and students, the New York State Education Department refused to postpone or reschedule the tests, forcing kids to miss a once-in-a-lifetime parade.
You wait forever for moments like these, and then bureaucrats in Massachusetts and New York find a way to ruin them. They bungled the cigars. They bungled the parade. These are memories those kids would've carried with them for the rest of their lives.
Adults today. Keep your dukes up.
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