The Little Bastards Robbed The Lemonade Stand
Jesus, did you hear about the kids' lemonade stand in Boston that was robbed in broad daylight?
Lemonade stands are a time-honored summertime tradition just about everywhere. And you know what? The lemonade is usually pretty damn good, Spanky. But in Southie recently, an 11-year-old brother and his 12-year-old sister were held up at gunpoint by a couple of masked teenagers. The crooks made off with about eighty bucks from a bright pink cash box before taking off on foot.
The robbers were wearing ski masks, but the story has a happy twist. The kids set up another stand just a couple of days later. Neighbors passed out flyers and the community rallied around the kids. They plan to donate the money they raised to a local cause.
This isn't the first time lowlifes have targeted kids trying to make an honest buck.
People in this neck of the woods may remember that two guys robbed a Girl Scout cookie stand in Northampton back in 2013. Those masked gunslingers grabbed the cash box and skedaddled with four hundred bucks. Christ, they even clocked one of the parents and broke the poor bloke's nose. The two mooks were eventually arrested, and just like in Southie, the local community stepped up and replaced the stolen money.
One time we were working on a TV spot about a police officer who’d been killed. We interviewed a 12-year-old kid the cop had always looked out for. The boy's comments were as sincere as it gets. His interview was going to have a lot of impact in the commercial. Then, right before it aired, I got a call saying we had to pull the kid from the spot. Why? Because he robbed the church collection basket on Sunday.
Goddamn it. Keep your dukes up.
If you know someone who’d like these ditties in their inbox every week, have ‘em shoot us an email at darbyo@darbyobrien.com and we’ll add ‘em to the list.